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Day 19 of 2022: Feeling a Bit Useless


Imposter Syndrome kicking in


It might be mid-week blues or me having an off day, but today I felt like I was not good enough for my job. The old confidence took a but of dunt when I lost my job a couple of years back. I am not sure I have worked that through the how's and whys of what happened. That might be for another day, I am kicking that particular can down the road.



Today I felt as if was not contributing enough, I am trying to feel my around and a complicated Software Package. It is a bit like being in a dark room. I am also blindfolded and there is a voice yelling "Why haven't you found it yet-get a move on". One crumb of comfort is that I am in this situation with other people who are in the same predicament. We keep bumping into each other and saying "Have you found the door yet", "Nope" and off we bumble.


When I lost the job, I did contemplate "I am cut out to be Tester?" Today I found myself contemplating that question again. I like to think that I am, but today the knawing doubt returned. The imposter syndrome kicked in.


I will work through it, put it down early January winter blues. My attempts every day have taken a bit of a bump as well. I will have to concentrate on that during the weekends, or at least this project calms down.
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